With Valentine?s Day here, I feel it to be quite fitting to talk about relationships particularly in the military.? If you are in the military or a military spouse, then I am sure you know how hard it can be to stay connected.? This mission is always vital and sometimes takes precedence to our marriages.?
Relationships can be so beautiful and passionate, bringing out the best in us and allowing us to see what?s beautiful in the world.? Other times, relationships can be very toxic to our souls, bringing out the worst in us and leaving us scared and enable to see what is kind and caring.? What is a relationship to you?? Is it a deep connection and emotional bond with someone?? Or is it someone you have fun with and take on the world with?? To many, a relationship is all of these things and then some.? But how many of us get all of these things?? I would love to talk about sunshine and rainbows that relationships are supposed to be, but that would not be too real.? For a majority of us, our marriages are not peaches and cream all the time.? And that is okay.?
For Valentine?s Day, I encourage you to appreciate your spouse for who they are, their role in the military and dedication to the mission, not what you want them to be.? After the dust has settled from the wedding and some time of living with your spouse, life becomes clearer.? You might start to identify things that you don?t like about your spouse, skeletons start to tumble out of the closet, or in some cases your marriage experiences infidelity.? If some of these or all of these have happened to you, then know you are not alone.? It is normal to want the ?perfect marriage?, but it doesn?t exist.? Marriage is basically two selfish people coming together to live as one.? Just stating it like that makes it seem impossible, but it isn?t.? The perfect part is however.?
I wanted to offer a piece of advice this Valentine?s Day for anyone who has experienced the aforementioned obstacles or just need to hear some encouraging words.? When you wake up, think about the things you can do to make him and her happy.? Once I got married and transitioned into having a family, I feel like I lost a lot of myself.? My mentality became a sense of wanting and seeking validation.? I started focusing on what I wasn?t getting and what I wanted, while at the same time not doing what I needed to do to nurture the marriage.? It happens?we get in a cycle where no one wants to humble themselves and both people want to be right in how they are feeling.? Normally, they are.? I know I was?so was my husband.? We didn?t want to do what the other needed until we got what we needed.? If we humble ourselves and give what the other needs, then it should (but unfortunately not always) fall into place.? Live to please the person you married.? Sounds simple, but it is easier said than done.? With effort and time, it can and with strong determination from both parties will work.
This doesn?t apply to everyone.? Some have the ?shared? love that marriage is.? Though it may not be perfect, sharing in your love is beautiful as it shows humility and kindness.? So this Valentine?s Day, even if your marriage is not where you want to be, appreciate and love with all your heart.? The institution of marriage is always worth saving.
Amber Turner aka HippyFitMom has a bachelor?s degree in Business and Information Technology with a concentration in management and am now pursuing her master?s in Human Services.? She is a Air Force spouse and mother of 2 children, 3 and 4.? Within one year, she has developed www.HippyFitMom.com, a blog about being a mother who values health and fitness.? She thrives on challenge and change and values the lifestyle the military has afforded her and her family.
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Source: http://www.bluestarfam.org/blog/view/valentines-day
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